A Benefit of Grief

I missed last week with all the Christmas travel and family. But alas a new year has come upon us and it is time to get excited about the upcoming year and all the adventures that await. Through all the demands on our time that the holiday season brings, I am reminded of a blessing that I have come to realize that I was given through the hard time of dealing with my grief at Kory’s death at Christmas.

Christmas is stressful. We try to make everything perfect. We try to accomplish so much before the “Big Day!” That leads to stress. My Christmas stress was significantly multiplied with Kory’s death. In dealing with the stress and the grief I felt,  I could not accomplish any normal things. I benefited by learning some interesting coping skills. Stressful activities and situations felt like rubbing up against  a cactus. I tried to avoid them at all costs. My life was completely encompassed in my own little world. My grief bubble. I know some would say that is sad and wrong, but let me point out a benefit that came from that experience. It makes you take a step back and only deal with what is absolutely necessary. You really learn to streamline your life. All the things that you usually stressed over became unimportant. I started to focus on the essential things and the rest was deleted. It is really freeing to remove yourself from the world for a short period of time. I had one focus and that was all. I miss that. It is not something that can go on for a long period of time, but it helped me learn perspective. I now feel like I am slipping back into the demanding schedule of the world as is swirls about me. I miss the quiet, pondering time.

I have decided that with the coming of the new year I will focus on the important again. If I do not, then when I look back at the year that has passed and I feel like I have not accomplished the important things. I have spent my time doing “stuff” and missing the things that help build my character and spirituality. I spent the years after Kory’s death studying and researching. I took the time to look at pictures and visit his grave. I spent time listening to beautiful music. I grew and enriched my soul. I stepped out of the world and found a wonderful treasure. An unexpected treasure. One of great worth.

I hope that with this coming year that all of us can take that precious time to; find the wonderful, the divine.

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