I decided to give you one last glimpse of a chapter in my upcoming book. It was very appropriate as it was all about Halloween and my feelings and experiences on the matter and dealing with Kory’s death. Yesterday I was out looking for a Halloween costume and was still shocked at the portrayal of Halloween. Gone are the days of funny plastic costumes and plastic superman or princess masks that came in an awesome box. I had a very hard time trying to find a modest adult costume. That is sad. All the costumes were so dark or I would be dressed as someone’s who profession is not in my lifestyle.
I hope that you enjoy this chapter and have a fun safe holiday.
Chapter 15: Halloween Spirits.
Cemeteries are a place of peace and beauty to me. I feel a great reverence and responsibility for these special places. I truly love them. After Kory died, I experienced a temporary uneasiness in regard to lighthearted joking about the dead and cemeteries. It was not enjoyable or funny for me.
To understand this stressful situation for me, I need to relate an experience from my childhood. As a child, my parents would frequently take us to Disneyland. My favorite ride in Disneyland was the Haunted Mansion, and it was the one ride I was eagerly anticipating during my next visit. Several months before Kory’s death, I had made arrangements to take a trip to Disneyland with my two sisters in the winter. I would be working in California then, and we were going to revisit our favorite childhood vacation spot before I started work. After Kory’s funeral, everyone was concerned about me going away, and they wondered if I would feel up to going back to work right away. Yet, I decided to go ahead with my plans, as the trip was already booked, and maybe it would help me at this devastating time. I really wanted to spend some time with my two sisters for their comfort and support. It was there, in Disneyland, that a great healing started to take place. I was walking with my sisters, and I felt a little bit of the happiness and magic I had as a child. I knew at that moment that I would indeed survive losing my precious Kory, because I was able to feel something other than the pain and emptiness. While my sisters and I were at Disneyland, we just had fun and loved being together, enjoying the magic of the park. We headed to my favorite ride. Fortunately for me at the time, even though I was unaware of this small blessing, the Haunted Mansion ride was closed for seasonal maintenance, and we did not go on the ride.
Before the trip with my sisters, Kris was quite distressed that he was not able to go with me to Disneyland. He was the biggest Disney fan. It broke my heart to tell him he couldn’t come, as he was going through such a terrible time, and I had just about lost him also. But because of the doctor’s orders, the decision was out of my hands in regards to this trip, and for his own well-being, Kris had to stay home. I promised him when I left that I would bring him back as soon as his health was cleared by the doctor. Later that year, in April, Kris and I flew to Disneyland.
Kris and I were very excited to go to Disneyland. We enjoyed the rides and attractions immensely and headed off eagerly to go on the Haunted Mansion ride, expecting it to be as fun as always. But our experience was very different this time. Kris and I found that we were very uncomfortable with the subject matter and the lighthearted treatment of the dead, from the tombstones to the graveyard scene. During the ride, whenever we looked at each other, no typical smiles adorned our faces. We even had to close our eyes at different places.
We got off feeling very somber and sad. “Well, that was no fun!” I exclaimed, and Kris agreed.
Death is not funny; it is sad. There was nothing wrong with the ride itself. It was still the brilliant experience it had always been, but we were different. We were fragile.
Time passed, and we were eventually able to take pleasure in the Haunted Mansion ride. After a few years, we went back to Disneyland and also visited Disney World, again going on the Haunted Mansion ride. And that time, we were okay, and it was fun again. We thoroughly enjoyed it. We had healed enough to look at death from a perspective that was not painful.
Because of the fragile condition of those who are grieving, I was not able to enjoy the first Halloween after Kory’s death. I could not wrap my mind or heart around the holiday’s fascination with cemeteries. I could not—would not!—see my beautiful son as those Halloween creatures typically depicted in a cemetery.
It took five years for Halloween to have a fun aspect again. I love scary movies and haunted houses. But I also have an understanding of the difference between the commercial fun and the tragedy of death.
My understanding has grown, and I know that there are ghosts. Gaining an understanding of spirits of light and spirits of darkness is important. They are both real. I have grown to respect the spirits of light and seek them for comfort and knowledge but to stay far away from the spirits of darkness. They are evil and serve Satan himself. Their intentions are only to make me as miserable as they are, and they are not worthy of my time and attention.
In October 2009, I started to have a recurring and disturbing dream about exhumation of the dead. It bothered me greatly, as I could not think of my beautiful boy in a state of deterioration. I was terrified to think of anyone disturbing the remains of a loved one. I dreamt that we had to move Kory, and the casket was open. Instead of what you might expect, I was given a very special visit. In my dream, Kory was his beautiful self. He stood there and gave Randy and me wonderful hugs. He looked intensely into my eyes and said, “Mom, I am here, and I am fine. I have not diminished one small particle. Do not be concerned with my earthly body. Know and tell everyone who has this concern that we are whole, alive, and very happy. When you see us again, it will be all that you hope and dream and more.”
The hug and message was wonderful, and it calmed my soul.
The following chapter is written at Halloween and is inspired by the knowledge I have gained in regard to this subject matter.
Kory watched his parents as they went about the daily activities. Another holiday was upon them, another first. It was Halloween night, a night that used to be fun and exciting when he was small. The previous Halloween, Kory had gone with his brother Kris and friends to a local church that had put on a type of interactive play called a “dead line.” The play they were at had the participants acting as teenagers who were killed in a car accident, and the victims would be ready either to go to heaven or sent to hell. Kory thought of the irony of watching the portrayal of dying at the local church last Halloween night when he truly had died in a car accident. One thing that he understood now is that death was not a horrible experience—but he also understood how precious life was. He felt a great reverence for life. It did not seem right to make such lighthearted jokes about death. The world’s view of death was scary and confusing. Kory was given the understanding that it could be scary and confusing for those who could not look to the light and see all that was available to them. He made a decision to see if he could help watch over some of his friends this Halloween. He wanted to see if they were receiving the correct picture of death or just aHollywoodversion.
That night, Kory and his companion, Grandfather Kinney, received the assignment to accompany some of Kory’s friends to a Halloween party. The fun included dressing up in funny costumes and playing games with the Halloween motif. But there were a few people that wanted the excitement of experiencing the real terror of Halloween night. Kory was curious as he noticed a small group of partygoers get into a car and leave the party. He decided to follow and observe. The teens wanted to experience adrenaline rushing through their systems when they were truly terrified. One girl suggested that they go to her house and have a séance. She also suggested that they get out her mother’s old Ouija board. They all agreed, except for one girl, who decided that she didn’t want to be involved and asked to be left at the party. She quickly left the car, wrapping her arms around herself to fend off the shudder and coldness she felt. Kory watched her as she went back into the party. He was not concerned about her. She would be okay. He turned back to the car full of kids and watched them leaving for their haunting adventure. He felt—and saw—spirits surround the car as the kids drove off. They were not the spirits of light that he was familiar with since he had lived on the spirit side of the veil. They were cold and dark.
Kory and his grandfather followed the car to the girl’s home. He did not want to go in because he was aware of the lack of peace following the group of thrill seekers. He understood that they just wanted to have fun. But he could clearly see they did not know what they were getting into. There were spirits here, dark spirits. These spirits did not have power over the group of kids unless the kids invited them in. Kory and Grandfather Kinney observed the group as they made their way into the house and into the family room. A cold feeling of uneasiness accompanied them, and they could sense something was not right. Of course, that brought out the usual comments and jibes.
“Ooooh! It feels so scary in here! Are you all chicken or what?” one young man said and laughed out loud.
The girl had found the old game box, and she set it on the table. She took out the game board and the game pieces. The kids all sat around the game and started to play, asking the reader innocent questions.
The dark spirits were getting very excited. They lived for these moments. “Come with us to the excitement, and we will show you things of wonder!” they whispered into the teenagers’ ears.
The game piece, the planchette, moved on the board in response to the teenagers’ queries, and the dark spirits slowly drew the kids into the game. The spirits began to entice the kids into the dark unknown.
“Think of the excitement!” the spirits taunted. “Think of the knowledge and power!” If they could get the teens to listen, they would not seek the light, and the spirits would be able to lead them down the darker path.
Some of the girls started to feel the hairs on the back of their necks stand up. After a few more questions, a few of the boys did too. The dark spirits got closer and closer. They could not believe their luck. These stupid kids wanted to be part of the exciting world of the dark spirits. Yes! The spirits would then take the teens far away from the joy and light, to a place where they would be miserable, just like the spirits.
Kory felt a great sadness. There was so much love and light and beauty in the world—the mortal sphere and the spirit world. If the kids could only see! Kory and his grandfather stepped into the room. Their light caused the dark spirits to flee to the corners. These teenagers were Kory’s friends, and he wanted to help them. They were on dangerous ground.
“Don’t ever give up your right to the light and love I have experienced,” he whispered into the ear of one girl, a high-school friend.
The girl thought back to the time she and her friends had spent in the lunch room playing the game called “What will you do at my funeral?” She thought of her friend Kory and how he had wanted people to leave pop tabs on his headstone. (The only thing that was in Kory’s locker when I went to clean it out was a bunch of pop can tabs! One of his high-school friends told me at the viewing about the game they would play at lunch and to not be surprised if I found pop can tops on Kory’s headstone. I did find them on his headstone, left by loving friends.)
Kory’s friend felt something warm and happy grow inside her. “You know what, guys? This doesn’t feel good. Let’s do something else,” she said.
“Yeah,” they all agreed. They turned on the lights and went into the kitchen to make some popcorn. Someone found an old and funny monster movie in the DVD cabinet. The cold, sad feeling left quickly and was replaced with laughter.
The friends were not aware of the dark spirits screaming at them. “No! Follow us!” the spirits wailed. They wrenched their bodies and pulled at themselves in agony, then disappeared to go search for other victims they could entice into the dark.
Kory breathed a sigh of relief.
The occult is real. Most people do not realize, however, that the occult is a direct path to sadness and misery, no matter how exciting and mysterious it seems.