A Time to Die

I am sorry that I missed last week.  I was out of town for the holiday. During this holiday adventure, this week’s blog post emerged. It was not by normal means but in an event that if you recognize the small and simple things that help us each day, it is in the realms of miracles. This is what happened…

After driving to the coast to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with my husband’s family we headed back home late Saturday night. Our youngest son Kris had flown out of the Raleigh/Durham airport at 6:50 that night so we dropped him off around 5. We had decided to just head home and drive straight thorough and arrive home in the early morning hours on Sunday.  That way we would miss most of the holiday traffic.

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Through my very painful experience of losing my son Kory, I gained valuable insight to a difficult problem. What do you say to someone that has just experienced the most difficult of life’s experiences, the death of a loved one. It is a tricky tightrope to walk. We do not want to cause them additional pain, and we also want them to know that we care about them and are feeling loss also. So how do we do that? Is it better to remain silent and say nothing at all? If we decide to talk to the grieving individuals, we wonder if we should mention the deceased person, or pretend that nothing happened. There are many conflicting emotions at such a time as this. After being in the unenviable position I was in at Kory’s death let me share what really meant a lot to me and my family and what helped and what did not.

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We are on the verge of a very wonderful time of year but also very stressful. It is especially hard on those of us that are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Because Kory died at Christmas I had to learn to deal with death and the holidays very quickly. I have learned some things that have really helped me to get through some of the tough times.

We can not change the fact that our loved one has died and that it is now holiday time. It is funny because I remember years ago my Grandmother Ellis (who is the most admired woman in my life) had to deal with the death of many loved one’s around Christmas.

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Now that the holiday that celebrates the “world of the dead” has come and gone it brings me to this week’s discussion. Are spirits real? And can we communicate with them? Oh yes my friend, they are real, very real. Should we be frightened of them? no, of course not. They cannot hurt you. We only fear the things we cannot understand. We fear the dark because we cannot see in the dark. But once the light is turned on most of the fears we have, vanish. That is the way with understanding spirits, the dead, and their role in our lives. The more we understand, the less we fear. I do not say that I have no fears. Nothing is worse than the anticipated fright while watching a scary movie or having someone jump out and surprise you, but that is all. So in retrospect, I would like to address the subject of communicating with the departed.

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